My Note to Parents

I haven’t posted her in quite some time, mostly to just due to the business that consumes my life these days, but there is something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for a while now and with all the tragedies in the media lately I feel I must get this out. If I’m stepping on anyone’s toes… too bad.

I remember holding my oldest son first the first time right after he was born. My doctor had to perform an emergency C-section after trying to push for 30 minutes. M’s heart rate would drop every time I pushed and he just wasn’t coming into this world easily. After the surgery, the doctors whisked him away to do all their doctor stuff while I was placed in recovery (and not to mention totally out of it). After they finally had me in our room where we would remain for the duration of our hospital stay, a nurse wheeled him into the room and placed him in my arms. My first thought was

“Oh my god. I am solely responsible for this tiny human being.”

It’s all exciting and fun finding out you’re expecting. Eventually the pregnancy turns into misery while you wait for those weeks to pass in anticipation of the arrival of this tiny bundle of joy. But nothing prepares you for that initial dose of reality when you hear those first cries and hold this tiny miracle for the first time. Shit just got real.

My personal experience was that I had never realized just deeply, how unconditionally, how FAST I could fall in love with a person I had never met before. It was instantaneous. My “Mama Bear” personality was alive. I knew from that second on that I would never, ever let anything or anyone hurt my child and I would do everything in my power to make him happy, love him with all my heart, and protect him with every inch of my being.

Welcome to motherhood.

In my, now, six years as a mother, and a second baby later, motherhood has been a learning process. I am still learning every single day. Have I screwed up? Yes. Have I lost patience? Yes, many times. Have I had to apologize to my child? Most definitely. Am I the perfect mother? No. Have I tried to be the best mother I can possibly be?

Every. Single. Day.

You see, when you choose to bring another life into this world, you are making the conscience decision to take on all the responsibilities that come with keeping another human being alive. It is your duty. Your job. Your life’s purpose to protect them, nurture them, love them. It should be your goal every single day to be an even better parent than you were the day before. Always raise that bar. Raise your children knowing that you have given them a wonderful childhood and that they will grow up to be happy, healthy adults (they will remember their childhood, trust me). Remember, you are raising someone’s future spouse and your future daughter/son-in-law will appreciate it.

But I digress.

My point is that I’m needing an explanation for what is going on in our country right now. I can’t so much as scroll through my news feed without seeing the latest on someone abusing or killing their child. On Father’s Day, a man shoots his two small children and then his wife before turning the gun on himself. Then a man “accidentally” forgets his 22-month-old in his car for 7 hours. Then a woman pushes her one-year-old out the window of her moving vehicle. Another woman has now had her newborn taken away because she was starving it.

Excuse me for one second…

WHAT THE HELL?!

It is not in me to understand how you could harm a child; your own or otherwise. And how do you forget about your child?! (I seriously won’t go into the many endless details and feelings I have about that case, but COME ON.)

People, these babies are born completely incapable of doing anything for themselves. They rely on you to keep them alive. To feed them. To protect them. To be their everything. And in return, you receive the greatest thing you can ever experience in your life: unconditional love. To have these tiny people look up to you, trust you, love you… how can you betray something like that? It’s precious. It’s rare. It’s priceless. And it’s the whole freaking reason for existing.

If you don’t feel this way, don’t have children! OR, here’s a novel idea, give them up so that someone else can have the opportunity to love them. There’s plenty of people out there desperately wishing they could have a child of their own and are unable, and there you are mistreating yours? 

They say not to judge because you don’t know all the facts or you aren't in their shoes. To this I say,

Oh, I’m judging alright.

I don’t care. There is a big difference between tragic accidents and negligence. None of the examples mentioned are “tragic accidents.” None. It’s simple stupidity, laziness, and sadistic negligence.

I’ll stop here. I just can’t wrap my head around what is going on in the world. I know that we can’t save them all. We can’t protect them all. The only thing we can do is be the best we can be for our own children. But parent-to-parent, I challenge you to step up your game. Be a better mom and dad than you were yesterday. Put down your phone and pay more attention to them. Play with them. Listen to them. 

HUG THEM AND TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM EVERY DAY 

because, frankly, I don’t want to see you on the news too.